The riots were triggered shortly after the commissioner announced that one team was leaving, two expansion teams were being added, one team was being brought back, and at least three teams were changing their names.

"The people are confused," Officer Copper told the press. "When people get confused, they riot. It's just human nature."

One rioter stopped screaming and crying long enough to say, "I can't tell if I'm an Orange Crush fan or a Orton Hears a Whoop fan. Or is it Fighting Falcons and Drunken Skunks? Ah! "

Cry babies weren't the only ones that were upset, cheapskates were, too. "I spent thousands of pennies on Hurricane Tebow gear last year," one man said while dancing a twist. During the playoffs, they changed their logo so I went out and spent another thousand or so pennies. Now the league is telling me they've changed the name and logo again. Unbelievable!"

Three years ago, the league started with just the teams Orange Crush, Koala Bears, Stampede, and Tigers. Now only the Tigers remain although all the owners of the original four teams are still a part of the league.