In other news, Congress continues to find itself in a deadlock on the debate over the term "one more cookie". Neither side will budge to determine if "one more" includes people who haven't yet had a cookie.
"It's obvious that when using the phrase in this context that it should be assumed that the individual has already had a cookie," Lavette Intoleray wrote in a letter to her constituents. "Our nation will be in great peril if we can't come to a compromise on the issue. And by compromise, I mean that it should be my way or no way."
However, some believe that Intoreray's compromise isn't actually a compromise. "Intoleray is a poo-poo head. If they [interpretists] get their way millions of people who haven't had a cookie won't get one," Teo Partsy explained in a press conference scheduled for two days from now. "After all, one more of zero is one, not zero."
Many experts have declared that if an agreement isn't made in just a few days, no one will get any cookies.
No cookies were harmed in the making of this article ... yet ...