Ninja monkey control advocates, including the group MANM (Moms Against Ninja Monkeys) have declared a victory today as the Conolia legislature passed a law that prohibits the sale, ownership, or even usage of ninja monkeys.
"It's been long coming," said Congresswoman Lavette Intoleray. "How often do we read a news story about a child being hurt because his parents didn't properly store their ninja monkeys? This law will protect our children, so that our children's children can live in a better world. "
"It's a complete violation of our 2nd Amendment rights," said Jenn Majewski, owner of six registered ninja monkeys. "We have a right to arms and that includes these stong, but very cute, arms of my ninja monkeys. I need to be able to protect my family. How am I supposed to do that without ninjas? I mean, come on! Ninja monkeys don't kill people. Their ninja stars do."
Congress plans to implement a ninja monkey exchange program to confiscate the animals from their owners. For each ninja monkey brought in, two circus monkeys will be provided.
The NNMA (National Ninja Monkey Association) has vowed to fight the law.