In a move more deadly than global warming, television networks across the nation began turning off their analog signals today and stranded millions of unprepared Americans in their homes without any TV.The chaos began this morning as television viewers across the country turned on their TVs just to find that there was no signal. Riots broke out in cities including New Orleans, Los Angeles, Detroit, and Limon, CO. “I was so confused,” a woman told us thinking we were gnomes sent to fix the funny box with the moving pictures in it. “It worked yesterday.”
Many citizens are wondering why FEMA hasn’t shown up on the doorsteps of those stranded without TV. As usual, FEMA takes its time when they are most needed and now people are missing soap operas and reruns of their favorite shows.
“It’s a real tragedy,” Congresswoman Lavette Intoleray explained. “We’re going to have a hearing about this and discuss how this should be discussed in the future.”
Gerald Oblivio decided he was going to write a strongly worded letter to Congress about the situation. “They really should have warned us about this switch instead of being so secretive about it,” he told us. “I mean, did you see any TV commercials about the switch, what needed to be done, and how we could use taxpayer money to get a converter? Did you think it would be all over in January when the first deadline was set, but when they extended it you were like, oh no, that’s another six months of having to watch those commercials? Did you? Well, I didn’t and I’m angry about it!”
The FCC has hired 4,000 people to work around the clock to rescue those stranded without TVs. Many question if that will be sufficient. And by many, we mean none.
