Congress announced today a new economic stimulus bill that would return ones of dollars back to the American taxpayer, especially those who don’t pay taxes. “The bill is quite simple to understand, even to voters down in Florida,” Congress spokesperson said during a news conference way too early this morning. “We are just going to take a really big box, throw a bunch of one dollar bills in it, and give each taxpayer one minute to grab as many bills as they can.”
Critics of the bill say this plan is stupid. “This plan is stupid,” Congresswoman Lavette Intoleray mentioned during an exclusive Conolia News interview. “How can the American people take such a bill seriously when it’s so simple? It needs to be much more complicated. We need to consider raising the time limit in the box for people with lower incomes, with children, those who drive hybrid cars, and those who use pink cell phones with sparkling stickers and Hannah Montana ring tones. Oh, and as usual, as politicians, we get to go first.”
The nonprofit group known as The People Against Simple Solutions, Great Achievements, and Success (PASSGAS) organized a protest on Capitol Hill today. “PASSGAS is against any bill that doesn’t over complicate the issue,” a full-time professional protestor explained. "This bill stinks!"
