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Woman Fired Due to Onionism
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Phoenix, AZ - Betty White, who is best known as the founder of ODIUS (Onions Destroy Innocent Unsuspecting Sitizens), has filed a complaint against her former employer for onionism. Conolia Industries, a leading producer of Conolia products, terminated White’s employment last month citing budget cuts. However, White believes differently.

“This is blatant onionism,” White said at a press conference this afternoon. “They found out I disliked onions and they fired me for it. It’s as simple as that.”

The complaint filed portrays a work environment where onions are often present. It describes catered company functions as including onions on foods such as hamburgers, pizza, sweet and sour chicken, and salsa. It also mentions the constant stink of onion rings from a near by cubicle. White writes in the complaint that she often felt isolated among the “onion loving freaks”. White then claims that she kept quiet until she attended a meeting where she says the overwhelming smell of onions gagged her. She then mentioned her dislike for onions to her supervisor and was subsequently let go that afternoon.

Travis Bossie, CEO for Conolia Industries, spoke to us on behalf of his company. “White was obviously distraught about being terminated and has decided to play the onion card. We knew before we even hired her that she didn’t like onions. After all, she put that ridiculous organization of hers, ODIUS, on her resume, misspelled word and all. We are an equal opportunity employer who hires people who like onions and people who don’t.”

Bossie stayed firmed on the position that White was let go due to budget cuts.

Denver Broncos’ quarterback, Jay Cutler, was unavailable for comment.

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