Dr. Paniklowsky of the University of Conolia has discovered that everyone has a syndrome. The study’s results showed that Multiple Amounts of Syndromes (MAS) Syndrome affected one-hundred percent of those tested.“Every last one of the people tested showed signs of having suffered greatly from multiple syndromes,” Dr. Paniklowsky said during a press conference earlier today. “It is obvious that our country’s health is deteriorating at an incredibly fast and alarming rate. It wouldn’t surprise me if we all woke up dead as early as tomorrow.”
Syndromes that showed up in the study included, but were not limited to Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS), Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS), Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, Dry Eye Syndrome, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Silly Window Syndrome, and Autosomal dominant Compelling Helio-Opthalmic Outburst syndrome (ACHOO).