The incident started when developer A.T. Needy was having some problems with his machine. Programs were not working correctly and crashing so he vented to another developer who sarcastically told Needy to simply throw the machine out of a six-story building window.

That’s exactly what Needy had done when Appy was assaulted. Poor Miss Appy just happened to be at the foot of that building. The blow to the head left Appy with a concussion, mild hemorrhaging, and severe obesity.

Needy, shortly after tossing his machine out the window and then using glue to piece it back together, called CTS (Conolia Technical Support). “Mr. Needy admitted to us that he had both thrown his machine out of a moving vehicle and tossed it out of the six-story building,” a spokesman for CTS told us. “He told us he had glued the pieces together and seemed upset that it didn’t work. We obviously thought it was a prank.”
[See transcript of call]

When asked why Appy was suing CTS, she stated, “CTS was negligent in the fact that they did not inform authorities that A.T. Needy was illegally disposing a computer. Plus, they have deeper pockets than Mr. Needy. I can only squeeze so much out of him.”

Needy has been charged with assault, illegal disposal of a computer, driving under the influence, and making a citizen cry. CTS has not been charged with any crime.