Reports show that over the last year as fuel prices climbed to record levels, so did the demand for soap. Bar soap, body wash, hand soap, and face scrubs flew off the shelves at grocery stores at record speed. Deodorant and toothpaste were also quickly flying off shelves and into grocery carts.

“I used to only take a shower once a week,” a shopper told us on the condition of anonymity. “It costs so much to fill my tank with fuel, though, that I had to up my showers to three times a week!”

Although no link can be found to the two incidents, since they both occurred at the same time and a shopper unwilling to give us her name told us so, they must be related.

Dean Banks, an economist currently doing research at Conolia University, disagrees with the findings. “Who in the world came up with this conclusion? It makes absolutely no sense at all. Do people actually believe this nonsense just because they read it on some website? It’s almost as if some news agency decided to make something up during a slow news week.”

Well, actually . . .