A Conolia University study shows that sour milk may cause udder infections. Researchers discovered the effect when they found a discarded Chipotle cup. Printed on this cup was a report claiming that a growth hormone (rBGH) used in dairy cows to increase milk production may cause the milk to have a bitter taste. The cup also had printed, "Many farmers report rBGH causes maladies such as udder infections and joint problems. Those synthetic growth hormones could end up in the milk we drink". Professor Paniklowsky of the University has studied the cup. "When we drink this milk that has caused udder infections in cows, logic implies that we too will suffer from such infections," he told us. "We must all panic. Not tomorrow, not a week from now, but today. It's the only thing we can do. Our entire population could be killed by udder infections. Think of the children!"
Dr. Finkleburger, founder of PFETA (People For the Eating of Tasty Animals) disagrees. He claims that the Chipotle cup is just a scare tactic thought up by Vegans in order to progress a movement to allow cows to live like humans.