Dr. Gorman of the Conolia University has discovered a trend when it comes to pick-up lines. She tells Conolia that in her research she found that 97% of women do not find balloon animals attractive. In fact, Gorman goes on to say that if you know a man who uses balloon animals as a pick-up line, “maybe you should refer him to a local psychologist”.Gorman’s study coincides with what P.A.L.E. (People Against Latex Entertainers) has been saying for years. “Latex Entertainers [balloonists] are not funny. They are not cute, adorable, or attractive. They are just plain creepy,” co-founder of P.A.L.E. Jennifer Donohoe told us.
P.A.L.E. was founded in the late 90s when two young women were sitting at an Applebee’s. The young women were approached by a ‘Latex Entertainer’ and were asked if they would like a balloon. The girls were frightened and were never heard from (by Applebee’s) again . . .
Shortly after, another young woman was stalked by a Latex Entertainer on the highway. When asked about her experience, she spoke on the condition of anonymity about her stalker. She says that a, “Kinkos van was following me, making balloon animals the whole time.”
Dr. Gorman says she’s not surprised by these stories. Her studies have shown that Latex Entertainers believe that they are cute and some will even tell you that they do it to see the smiles on children’s faces. However, it is clear that their creepy fake smiles and the ability to put up with the constant squeaking of the balloons is a result of mass brainwashing and cult like activity.